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Below are
seven pages of excerpts, something from each of the 14 chapters of the
explosive 200 page Minestrone for the
Mobster’s Soul: Life Lessons from the Movie Mafia. Friendship Lessons from Bobby and Joey You
can’t imagine what Wrigley was like in ’69. This was when the
neighborhood was still real, before it got all rehabbed and gentrified or
whatever the fuck they call it. Over a million and a half rabid diehards, not
tourists and suits, made it to the Confines. This was more people than had
attended in about 40 years—since back when Hack Wilson (on booze, not
steroids) was poking 191 RBI’s in a single year and Capone ran the city.
By August of ’69 the Cubs were way ahead of the pack in the National
League, and it was obvious to everybody that they were going to win the
pennant. Lessons
from the Movie Mob You might not like hearing this, but you’ve
got to be the hard guy. Let me give you another example—the Cardinals of
the Catholic Church. These are some of the most powerful “made
guys” on the planet. When the Pope makes them, he expects them to be
loyal allies to “his thing,” not to be his friends. Yet even they
can turn against each other when business dictates. In Godfather III, a Cardinal tells Michael, I trusted my friend (but) these friends use the
good name of the church to feed their greed. Respect Lessons from Bobby and Joey The
boss’s suits didn’t come from Lessons
from the Movie Mob Fredo thinks that respect is gained by words, not deeds.
He’s wrong. Your boss respects what you accomplish, not what you talk
about. Your spouse respects what you do for her, not what you promise. People
respect what their elected officials do, not what they promise in their campaigns.
Countries respect the deeds of other countries or the power used by them, not
their treaty and negotiation talk. Instead of respect, Fredo ends up with the
opposite from his younger brother, You’re nothing
to me now, Fredo. Michael, The Godfather, Part II. Trust Lessons from Bobby and Joey.
I don’t know when he got out of prison. In the 90’s a
jockey’s body was found floating in a creek in Lessons
from the Movie Mob Carelessness is unthinkable to the
Don—it’s a matter of life and death. He warns Michael that Barzini
will set up a meeting with someone Michael absolutely trusts—that is the
person who will betray him and assassinate him. Yogi Berra might have said it
if he had had the chance: “If you can’t trust someone you have
absolute trust in, who can you trust? The answer, you already know: “You can’t
trust nobody.” Religion Lessons from Bobby and Joey We
did our best to be creative in our attempts to get back at the nuns. For
instance, we had to go to mass every day of the week—I mean the entire
school had to go. That was the smiley-faced “Have a nice day” start
to your morning in the Catholic ‘50s of Lessons
from the Movie Mob One of the things unique about The Sopranos is that it touches on some
of these subjects—things the general public has always wanted to know but
was afraid to ask. What do the children of a mafioso think about their
father’s occupation? How much do they know and when do they know it? What
rationalizations does the wife make? And how do they all feel about religion
and God? Are mobsters afraid of burning in hell for their sins?..... Actually,
the answers are simple because mob guys are no different than you. Loyalty Lessons from Bobby and Joey If
you needed dough to start up your own joint and couldn’t go through the
normal channels, Tony was also the guy to see. A lot of prospective bar owners
in the neighborhoods weren’t exactly the type who were going to be
welcomed with open arms by Harris Bank, or by Bohunk S&L on Cermak for that
matter. They had to look for alternative financing. Tony had the equivalent of
an MBA in alternative financing. And a PhD in debt collection as well. Lessons
from the Movie Mob A
lot of employers don’t even check references. Check references? You
should take the references out for dinner and drinks. Only, you pick the references, not take the
ones the job seeker gives you. Ideally, the references should be known and
checked before the guy even comes in the door for the job. How does that work?
Somebody sent him that you can trust and that you know is loyal. When he first
walks in, you already know everything about him. That’s why he came in,
in the first place. We’re fools. You know why? Cause we did it. We let Sammy in. We let Sammy in, Frankie, into something
that’s called this thing of ours. Gotti
(Armand Assante), referring to Sammy Gravano. Gotti Honor Lessons from Bobby and Joey Will movies be made twenty years
from now sentimentalizing…John Gotti? It’s already started. A
series, Growing Up Gotti, has already
played on television, featuring the Dapper Don’s daughter, Victoria. (You
can bet I watched the first episode, and if Gotti were alive, he’d take
out a contract on the producers of this pile of garbage.) Lessons
from the Movie Mob Look at Al Capone—he’s
almost a cartoon character today. He’s a marketing tool for tourism. You
can visit “The Hideout, Al Capone’s Northwoods Retreat” in
Wisconsin—it’s recommended by AAA! Or visit a museum and take a
tour dedicated to his deeds in Chicago. In the future, maybe you’ll be
able to go to Gottiland in Queens. I can see a tour right now. We’ll
visit his Ravenite Social Club and then end with dinner at Sparks Steak House
where Big Pauly got clipped. Maybe John Jr. will be out of prison long enough
to be our tour guide. If not, there’s always Victoria. Gotti deserved his
fate, yet he embodied at least one of the qualities that society reveres—honor Omerta Lessons
from Bobby and Joey Then
again, it was a woman who was one of the worst publicly known rats of the last
decade. Remember Linda Tripp? She pretended to be a friend to Monica Lewinsky
and then ratted her out, taping their phone calls that discussed “private
matters.” She even wore a wire when she met with Monica. She later went
to prosecutors with intimate details of her “friend’s”
conversations. Without stool pigeon Linda Tripp there would have been no
Clinton scandal. Without squealer Tripp, Clinton and the U.S. Congress would
not have been distracted by what his dick did or did not do. This went on for
over a year, while at the same time terrorists were plotting to attack our
country. Without that strunz Tripp,
Lewinsky’s dress would have gotten dry-cleaned and saved us all a lot of
fucking trouble. Justice Lessons
From Bobby and Joey People
trusted the priests in those days and believed in the whole representative of
Christ thing. I can see now that Jasper’s folks just didn’t want to
face any damn part of what was happening. We didn’t have any experience
in this kind of shit ourselves, so we didn’t know what to think or do at
first. We were not ready to rebel against all our religious upbringing at this
point in our lives, but the thought of this particular priest listening to
Confessions and handing out Communion made our skin crawl. Any confusion we had
soon turned to anger and we knew that justice had to be served. We were going
on pure instinct, and didn’t know until decades later how right we were
to be enraged. Lessons
from the Movie Mob Our
system dispenses better justice than the FBI or other parts of civilian
society. Yes, we use deceit (like advertisers); we extort (like lobbyists and
politicians). And we punish those who cross us (like the courts and jails). But
we give citizens what they want and therefore we profit from it. In the
20’s and 30’s we gave them booze. Today we give them gambling (like
every fucking state lottery, riverboat casino and Indian reservation). We give
them prostitution (this is illegal?). And we give advanced education to suckers
who are looking to score. When punishment needs to be delivered, we do so. Our
perps don’t wait 20 years on death row to be fried. We do it quickly and
cleanly (unless there is a further lesson to teach). But we do not punish those
who do not deserve it. Occasionally, there is a little “collateral
damage” shall we say. It happens. The FBI can tell you plenty more about
that too. Politics Lessons
from Bobby and Joey We
were lucky back in the day. We didn’t have to get dressed up in some
fancy uniforms and wait to get carted off by our old ladies to a ball field
where the parents watch you, the coaches tell you who’s playing where,
and the umpires boss you around. We weren’t indoctrinated into some
hierarchy for the benefit of adult egos. Our parents were dead tired by the
time they came home, and just sent us out “to play,” so our games
were democratic. We played what we wanted, when we wanted, and with who we
wanted. The games included….. My
favorite was "fast pitching." The “City that Works”
worked for us, and if I could go back to any time in my life, I’d be playing fast pitching
out against the school wall in a Chicago minute. I never once saw any rules
about the game, or any of the other sports we played, written down, but every
kid in the neighborhood knew them. As we got older we learned the rules about
how the city worked as well. These weren’t written down either—that
made them even more important. Couple that with what our friends and the older
guys in the Outfit taught us and we had a first class education. The overriding
theme we grasped was that Mayor Daley’s city had its own Outfit. Its own
Organization. Its own Syndicate. Its own political mafia, if you want to use
that term. Back then it was known as the Machine. Lessons
from the Movie Mob I
hope you’ve never said the following: “I don’t want that job
because I don’t like to play politics.” If you have, I hope this
lesson teaches you that that sentence is nonsense. You will play politics
whether you dig ditches or become the mayor’s right hand man.
You’ll need to deal with the foreman of the ditch-diggers, the guy
slacking off his digging next to you in the ditch, and the guy hauling the muck
away. They can make your life harder if you don’t deal with them and
easier if you do. Another definition of politics is the art of the deal. So
deal, and get over it. Ambition Lessons from Bobby and Joey DB
felt confident we could do this, so we cased the car for a couple of nights to
see if any pain-in-the ass innocent bystanders were hanging around. Usually the
car was there, but not always. Mike came along on the first night and said it
looked like the dumb prick didn’t invest in a car alarm. We knew from
what happened to Jimmy D that if we got caught, there could be some jail time.
If your name was Wesolowski, O’Brien, or Rufus Johnson, you’d
probably be able to cop a plea on a first offense. But if you’re name is
Madura or DiBruno, some of these judges are gunning for you—unless
they’re getting paid, of course. Lessons
from the Movie Mob Another
way to achieve your ambitions is to know how to handle requests. Treat any
request by your boss as a command. You don’t turn him down.
But—listen carefully—you have to handle requests from almost anyone
else the same way. You put them in your debt and you get ahead. Fulfilling a
request is like putting money in the bank. Except you’ll get interest
tenfold. If a deposit goes astray once in a while, who cares. The reverse is
also true—denying a request is an insult. If a time comes when you are
not willing or able to fulfill a request, it’s not the end of the world.
Just be aware that you are making an enemy and be cautious. He never asks for a second favor when
he’s been refused a first, understood? Tom
Hagen (Robert Duvall), The Godfather Family Lessons from Bobby and Joey “Listen,
Bobby.” Freddie “The Pol” Polito sounded more nervous than
usual. There were no preliminaries, no “Happy Holidays,” just,
“You and DB gotta go up to Broadway Barry’s, you know it, on the
North Side, and have the owner sign on for a box now.” Now,
for any of you that still don’t know the rules by now, a request such as
this is not questioned. Even guys like us, who didn’t have to do much
enforcing and weren’t primed to be made guys or anything, when we heard
the bell, we didn’t ask questions, we got in the ring and started
punching. But I was thinking, “Geez, the whole family is here and
it’s Christmas Eve, I can’t believe this.” Besides, it had
just started to snow. So this one time….just this one time…..I
hesitated. “Freddie,
listen, can’t we go over there the first thing on the 26th? The whole
family is here, and the food is almost ready.” There
was silence on the other end of the phone. Maybe it was only five seconds; it
felt like five minutes. Then I added, “Besides, it’s snowing like a
motherfu…..” “You’re
going to go over there and give this cocksucker a Christmas he’ll never
forget,” The Pol’s seething voice interrupted. I could tell he was
trying to hold his temper. “You’re going to meet me at
Ferndell’s in five minutes to get the details and I don’t want no
fucking weather report.” And the phone went dead. Lessons
from the Movie Mob This
godfather almost never discussed where his money came from with his wife, sons,
and daughters. He set the kids up with trust funds so they would never have to
work regular jobs; instead they could concentrate on achieving power. Though he
personally may not have had anyone whacked for trying to stop his enterprises,
those he associated with did. Though his stock frauds were not all illegal at
the time, they were surely unethical, not to mention immoral. Many were made
illegal in later years. Though his liquor-smuggling would surely be excused by
most of us today, it was certainly illegal during Prohibition. He did it to
achieve power and wealth. And broads? Let’s not even go there. Suffice it
to say he had plenty, including famous actresses. Not only did this boss become
legit, he became ambassador to England and held other posts in the U.S.
government. He had three sons who became senators, and one who became
president… Love Lessons from Bobby and Joey I
never knew much about counterfeiting, and neither did DB. But I understood its
appeal. Like gambling, the lure of money falling into your lap is hard to
resist. If your old man ever harped that “Money doesn’t grow on
trees,” there was a reason he did. You want it to grow on trees—everybody does—trees in your
own back yard, that only you can go out and prune. Twenties that you could
crank out in the garage. Or Benjamins you can reproduce in the basement. Your
own ATM that never runs low. It all evolves around the magic of machines
spitting out cash for you. It was no different in ancient times, when guys in
robes, sandals, and Bin Laden beards would keep trying to figure out how to
make gold from everyday junk metals. Business Lessons from Bobby and Joey You’ve
got to understand—a professional card dealer like Dominick can deal up
almost any hand he wants unless equally sharp people are watching him. Casinos
today videotape every hand and study what every dealer is doing. We
didn’t have that kind of technology then and we probably wouldn’t employ
it now. If Dominick was running up pots for his partner to win, it meant he was
also setting up our real customers. If they got suspicious that our games were
not on the up-and-up, our business would be ruined, at the least. Dominick
would not only be guilty of cheating the customers, but of cheating us. We
knew we had to do something, so we consulted with Vito. “That ungrateful
prick,” was Vito’s first reaction and then, “Keep Dominick
around tomorrow night after closing and I’ll stop by. We’ll have a
little sit-down.” Lessons
from the Movie Mob When
someone makes the decision to buy into “our thing” and knows the
rules of the business, he has an implied contract, a contract that stipulates that
as a made man he can be eliminated if he breaks the rules or becomes a
“business competitor.” He’s more like a soldier who, once
he’s in, can be legally court-martialed and even executed for treason or
dereliction of duty, on the battlefield or off. Betrayal Lessons from Bobby and Joey People
in our neighborhood didn’t usually advertise when they sold their houses.
This could bring in the wrong element if you know what I mean. They sold
privately and a lot of it went through our books, whether we had anything to do
with the sale or not. Tommy didn’t take those accounting classes at
Circle Campus for nothing. At least we were getting a little payoff from U. of
Illinois/Circle, which had eliminated a lot of the original Italian
neighborhood close to downtown and replaced it with cold concrete. It
was the third leg of M&D Enterprises, that I got hooked on, the restaurant
business…. Lessons
from the Movie Mob Each
lesson in our book strikes to the heart of the code. That’s because one
lesson cannot be completely isolated from the others. They are all vital organs
that cannot fail. Without business we have nothing. Without the law of omerta,
likewise, we fall apart. We must command respect and honor or why would we want
to live. Likewise, trust and betrayal are such strong qualities, they are like
life and death. If you betray your woman, your friend, your family—you
are worth nothing. |
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